Tuesday, January 6, 2009

English Hospitality

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Wednesday, April 16, 2008, 3:31
This news item was posted in @News, Fun category and has 9 Comments so far.

An American tourist in London decides to skip his tour group and explore the city on his own. He wanders around, seeing the sights, occasionally stopping at a quaint pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the locals, and have a pint of bitter.

After a while, he finds himself in a very nice neighborhood with big, stately residences. No pubs, no stores, no restaurants, and worst of all no public restrooms.

However, he really has to go, after all those Guinness’s. He finds a narrow side street, with high walls surrounding the adjacent buildings and decides to use the wall to solve his problem.

As he is unzipping, he is tapped on the shoulder by a London bobby, who says, “Sir, you simply cannot do that here, you know.”

“I’m very sorry, officer,” replies the American, “but I really have to go, and I just can’t find a public restroom.”

“Ah, yes,” said the bobby, “just follow me”. He leads the American to a back delivery alley to a gate, which he opens.

“In there,” points the bobby, “whiz away sir, anywhere you like.”

The fellow enters and finds himself in the most beautiful garden he has ever seen. Manicured grass lawns, statuary, fountains, sculptured hedges, and huge beds of gorgeous flowers, all in perfect bloom.

Since he has the policeman’s blessing, he relieves himself and feels much more comfortable. As he goes back through the gate, he says to the bobby “That was really decent of you. Is that what you call English hospitality?”

“No sir…”, replied the bobby, “that is what we call the French Embassy.”

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9 Responses to “English Hospitality”

  1. Peter said on Wednesday, April 16, 2008, 15:42

    And what the ‘bobby’ just did will count as war.

  2. alche said on Thursday, April 17, 2008, 0:24

    yeah, an act of war against the french, which means no negative blow back

  3. LOLLIN said on Thursday, April 17, 2008, 2:02

    alche won.

  4. M said on Thursday, April 17, 2008, 4:04

    FYI: Guinness is a stout, not a bitter.

  5. fret said on Thursday, April 17, 2008, 14:53

    And also fyi, you would never find a ‘bobby’ in London. or England for that matter. the coppers over here are all pricks! And there are no ‘quaint’ pubs in London either

  6. jaxsun said on Sunday, April 20, 2008, 0:25

    oh peter get that silver rod out of your ass.

  7. Napoleon said on Thursday, April 24, 2008, 8:41

    This is ludicrous! You will pay for this AMERICAN!!! I will rally all my…all my…. Oh piss, never mind I forgot all the men in France have become women. Well, I can always conquer America. They are afraid of anyone who even be perceived as gay.

  8. Jonathan said on Sunday, October 12, 2008, 8:49

    Hehe that’s funny :-) and we would so do that if we could get away with it… also there are hundreds of quaint pubs in London.. you just have to head a little off the beaten track :-0

  9. Happy American said on Sunday, October 19, 2008, 0:40

    Napoleon…You stay away from our country…No…NOO….STAY BACK!!!!!

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