Electronic Magazine
lifestyle, fun and divertismentGuide to wife translations
The wife says: You want
The wife means: You want
The wife says: We need
The wife means: I want
The wife says: It’s your decision
The wife means: The correct decision should be obvious
The wife says: Do what you want
The wife means: You’ll pay for this later
The wife says: We need to talk
The wife means: I need to complain
The wife says: Sure… go ahead
The wife means: I don’t want you to
The wife says: I’n not upset
The wife means: Of course I’m upset you moron
The wife says: You’re … so manly
The wife means: You need a shave and sweat a lot
The wife says: Be romantic, turn out the lights
The wife means: I have flabby thighs.
The wife says: This kitchen is so inconvenient
The wife means: I want a new house.
The wife says: I want new curtains.
The wife means: Also carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper!
The wife says: I need wedding shoes.
The wife means: The other forty pairs are the wrong shade of white.
The wife says: Hang the picture there
The wife means: No, I mean hang it there!
The wife says: I heard a noise
The wife means: I noticed you were almost asleep.
The wife says: Do you love me?
The wife means: I’m going to ask for something expensive.
The wife says: How much do you love me?
The wife means: I did something today you’re not going to like.
The wife says: I’ll be ready in a minute.
The wife means: Kick off your shoes and take an hour nap.
The wife says: Am I fat?
The wife means: Tell me I’m beautiful.
The wife says: You have to learn to communicate.
The wife means: Just agree with me.
The wife says: Are you listening to me?
The wife means: [Too late, your doomed.]
The wife says: Yes
The wife means: No
The wife says: No
The wife means: No
The wife says: Maybe
The wife means: No
The wife says: I’m sorry
The wife means: You’ll be sorry
The wife says: Do you like this recipe?
The wife means: You better get used to it
The wife says: All we’re going to buy is a soap dish
The wife means: I’m coming back with enough to fill this place.
The wife says: Was that the baby?
The wife means: Get out of bed and walk him
The wife says: I’m not yelling!
The wife means: Yes I am! I think this is important!
In answer to the question “What’s wrong?”
The wife says: The same old thing.
The wife means: Nothing.
The wife says: Nothing.
The wife means: Everything.
The wife says: Nothing, really.
The wife means: It’s just that you’re an idiot.
The wife says: I don’t want to talk about it.
The wife means: I’m still building up steam.
dorebul said on Saturday, June 14, 2008, 13:59
your test is very pessimist, the wife is like this only when her husband is rich but if she loves him, she is absolutely not like that. rich men choose rarely poor women
Casper said on Saturday, June 14, 2008, 15:48
I say: Aww thats so funny and accurate
I mean: This was obviously written by a man who knows nothing about women
Take care x
Huggy said on Tuesday, June 17, 2008, 11:32
All women with sons should have their children memorize this at an early age and repeat it back to
them until it is deeply ingrained into their brains. They will be assured of better relationships as they
grow older! ( tongue firmly in cheek)
lewkis said on Wednesday, June 18, 2008, 9:43
That’s why the only male response is “yes dear *nod*”
bill said on Saturday, June 21, 2008, 0:04
fuck i love older woman. ill do dirty shit to goats for that…
chris said on Monday, June 23, 2008, 21:07
This is mostly correct weather the women like it or not. hey if you upset: change it. heheheheheheh
Vinebot said on Wednesday, June 25, 2008, 16:17
Another bold step forward for gender equality!
Dina said on Saturday, June 28, 2008, 10:55
Ha. Not all women are like this. Some, i will agree. But there are many of us out there that want an EQUAL relationship. It just all depends on if you want the “model” or somebody that loves you. I’m sorry that you have to resort to tired stereotypes to fuel your hatred. Maybe you should stop going for bitches. It’s not hard to find a nice girl. It just takes some effort.
Wassailing wassailer said on Thursday, August 14, 2008, 16:46
The satirical piece was too short. I would have liked more but I guess there are only so many jokes that can be made when you limit it to a “Instance A means Instance B” list.
Vinebot, I really like the irony in your part.
Dina, your reply screams that you are seriously butthurt with this satire. If all women are like you then women are not equal to men. In fact it is impossible for all members of either sex to be equal in any way other than equally useful for the species and even then it is unlikely that all members of each sex will be useful (f*ck all the ‘everyone is special’ cr*p that is not true because if it was then no one would be special).
Drop your I pod on your way home and become an hero.
Wassailing wassailer said on Thursday, August 14, 2008, 16:47
No the website listed isn’t mine but it is very lulzy, the women that try to attack him really do not help any refutations of the owners arguments.
The satirical piece was too short. I would have liked more but I guess there are only so many jokes that can be made when you limit it to a “Instance A means Instance B” list.
Vinebot, I really like the irony in your part.
Dina, your reply screams that you are seriously butthurt with this satire. If all women are like you then women are not equal to men. In fact it is impossible for all members of either sex to be equal in any way other than equally useful for the species and even then it is unlikely that all members of each sex will be useful (f*ck all the ‘everyone is special’ cr*p that is not true because if it was then no one would be special).
Drop your I pod on your way home and become an hero.