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A certain zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very hornery, and difficult to handle. Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem: she was in heat. What to do? There was no male of this species available.
While reflecting on their problem, the zoo administrators noticed Mike, an employee responsible for cleaning the animals’ cages. Now Mike, it was rumored, possessed ample ability to satisfy any female, and he wasn’t very bright. So the zoo administrators thought they might have a solution. Perhaps they could entice Mike to satisfy the female gorilla. So he was approached with a proposition: would he be willing to screw the gorilla–for five hundred bucks? Mike replied that he might be interested, but would have to think the matter over.
The following day, Mike announced that he would accept their offer, but only under three conditions:
“First,” he said, “I don’t want to have to kiss her,” and “Second, I want nothing to do with any offspring that may result from this union.”
The zoo administration quickly acceded to these conditions, but what could be the third?
“Well,” said Mike, “You’ve gotta give me another week to come up with the five hundred bucks.”
dafydd said on Wednesday, May 14, 2008, 13:54
Horney,not hornery!
Jasno said on Wednesday, May 14, 2008, 14:43
Horny, not horney! If you’re going to be a douche and correct someone at least make sure your correction is correct. Otherwise you end up looking like not only a douche, but an idiot as well.
GFYM said on Wednesday, May 14, 2008, 15:19
yeah a horney deuce idot
with a go rilla up yours
Jeremy said on Wednesday, May 14, 2008, 15:27
Well, you’re both wrong
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hornery
So this is fun, right?
YER FACE said on Wednesday, May 14, 2008, 17:24
they were saying ornery, not horny
Ben said on Wednesday, May 14, 2008, 17:34
Well said Janso!
Bully said on Wednesday, May 14, 2008, 18:05
If you’re going to be a douche and correct someone[,] at least make sure your correction is correct. Otherwise[,] you['ll] end up looking (-like-) not only [like] a douche, but an idiot as well.
I tried fixing your errors.
[add], (-minus-)
gravityguy said on Wednesday, May 14, 2008, 18:07
Actually, the original is correct. It is presumptive to think that it was a misspelling of ‘horny’. Check a dictionary and broaden your vocabulary.
matt said on Wednesday, May 14, 2008, 18:13
you’re both dumb. they meant ornery, as in gets agitated easily. they just added an h on accident. idiots.
ogarbattlefront said on Wednesday, May 14, 2008, 18:29
I’m horneryer than anyone
celestial blue said on Wednesday, May 14, 2008, 18:56
you’re both morons.
it’s supposed to be ornery.
go ahead, look up, we’ll wait here.
celestial blue said on Thursday, May 15, 2008, 3:46
just as another thought, try using a REAL dictionary and not an “urban” dictionary of slang terms. Hornery is NOT in Merriam-Webster, nor is bootylicious. Your little urban dictionary has both, which says it all really.
Kazi Rahman said on Monday, June 9, 2008, 19:02
Nerds. Just enjoy the story. Everyone can just think plug in their own spelling and stop bitching about it. Damn, you guys are so immature.
engraved promise rings said on Monday, July 7, 2008, 11:45
engraved promise rings…
A new common trend is for couples to exchange matching promise rings. These make for a fashionable and romantic gesture….